Healthy Relationship
Everybody deserves to have a healthy relationship with love, trust, good communication, shared interests, sex with consent, privacy, fun, laughter, loyalty, compliments, compromise and equality.
Being in a relationship with these qualities will make you and your partner feel happy, loved, special, secure, confident and important.
To achieve a healthy relationship requires compromise and understanding, which can be hard work. It is important that both you and your partner want to and do make an effort.
But...the more positive effort and energy you both put in together, the more positive the relationship will be for both of you.
Unhealthy Relationship
If you are in a relationship and feel scared or pressurised into doing things you don't want then this is not okay. If you feel uncomfortable or unhappy and uncertain about what is happening then it may be an abusive relationship. A loving relationship is based on respect not fear. Abusive behaviour may include some or all of these things:
- Physical - Actions that hurt the outside of the body like; pushing, slapping, punching or kicking.
- Sexual - Actions that effect people intimately like; being forced or pressurised into sex or sexual behaviour that you are not comfortable with.
- Emotional - Actions that effect how you think or how you feel, like; intimidating, scaring, putting down, checking up on constantly or name-calling.
- Financial - Actions that effect your money and finances like; taking money, using your mobile phone without permission, stealing from you, making you pay for everything and not giving you access to your own money.
This is known as domestic violence
Warning Signs
An abusive relationship may start off seeming healthy, but there are some warning signs that things might change. Here are a few:
- You are seeing your friends and family less and less.
- Sometimes you feel scared of how your partner will react.
- You feel bad about yourself because your partner is criticising you.
- You don't express your opinions because you are scared of being made to feel small.
- You haven't an equal say in decisions.
- You are constantly contacted on your mobile phone.
- You are made to feel bad or guilty because of your partner's jealousy.
- You are made to feel uncomfortable when you are arguing with your partner
If you are worried about your relationship, remember you can talk to someone you trust or contact a helpline, which you can find in the Help page of this site.
Remember that you are not alone. Other young people are experiencing the same things. Click here to read other young people's stories.
